If life feels like a chore…No, it won't be worth it
We've got the magic backwards. What a gold medalist taught me about trusting the pull over the plan, and finding your own proof.
The responsible path won’t lead to what you want if your heart’s not in it
Most of us believe forcing a plan against our will is the way to achieve, even when our heart isn’t in it. We power through the day doing what we should, for goals we think we should want.
“I don’t want to do this, but I have to if I want to win.”
“No pain, no gain. This is just what it takes.”
We tell ourselves it’ll all be worth it someday, that this is what being a responsible adult takes.
But what if it couldn’t be further from the truth?
Watch how life actually unfolds and you’ll see it works the opposite way.
Clinging to fixed plans blocks the magic, the possibilities waiting to open up in your life.
So if your life feels like a chore, what you’re doing isn’t working.
Life unfolds miraculously when you participate in sync
We do things we think we should in order to control outcomes.
But when we follow our heart, the outcomes organize themselves around what we do.
Here’s why. Contrary to what we believe, we aren’t separate from this universe. We are a cell in the universe organism, and the universe is an extension of us.
Our rational mind can’t see the whole. It only sees our small perspective as a single cell, so it keeps forcing us to choose options that don’t work in sync with the larger organism.
But we have a magical connection to that organism, accessible in every moment. It’s just not as loud or as rational as our mind. This is our intuition. Call it curiosity, the pull, the heart.
It’s an intelligent guidance system that shows us how to act in sync with the unfolding of reality. Just as the cells in our heart and brain know what to do to keep the whole body alive and thriving, so do we, if we’d just stop thinking and getting in the way.
This isn’t a diss on hard work, just the opposite.
Forcing a fixed path assumes it’s the only way, so you blind yourself to the doors swinging open right next to you.
Following the pull is how you live out your personal legend!
The proof
I love spotting these stories, in the things I read, in the lives of others, in nature. I came across one earlier this year that stuck with me.
Alysa Liu won the Olympic gold medal in figure skating this February in Milan.
Her story is interesting and one where she actively switches from force to pull.
Growing up, she had a plan that seemed to be working. She became the youngest U.S. figure skating champion at 13. She made the Beijing Olympics at 16.
Then she quit.
In April 2022, she announced she was retiring to focus on her mental health and just be a normal teenager. For two years, she wasn’t a skater. She went to UCLA. She hiked to Everest base camp. She lived.
Then something pulled her back.
When she returned, she returned on the condition to do it her way.
The halo hair. The “smiley” piercing. The Lady Gaga programs. She ate what she wanted, wore what she wanted, skated how she wanted. She said her only goal that day wasn’t to win, it was to do programs she loved.
She won gold in Milan. The first American woman to win the individual title in 24 years.
For years she’d believed, like most of us do, that becoming a gold medalist required forcing a fixed diet, a fixed look, a fixed routine.
“I don’t want to do it, but I should if I want to win.”
That wasn’t true.
If your heart says otherwise, follow it. Let those possibilities open up. When you follow your heart, you’re all in. You’re joyful. And you participate intelligently in the universe.
Now, you may be thinking this is a nice story, but what about all the others who followed their heart and weren’t as lucky?
We don’t know everyone’s story. But you can look into yours and find your own proof.
The way I landed my dream job, found the love of my life, and got so many other things I’ve wanted, all happened through what we call “luck.”
But luck is actually what happens when you allow possibilities to stay open and you participate with them intelligently.
Usually our rational mind says no to the very things our intuition nudges us toward. Call that person. Click on that website. Just apply to this job even if the page looks vague and silly (that was my case). And so we block the possibilities before they can open. We ignore the nudge, call it illogical, tell ourselves it will never work.
You’ve already lived this proof.
Find your own proof
So go back through your life and find the serendipitous moments that just worked out. Maybe it was a job you landed. Maybe it was how you met your partner, or how a trip somehow came together perfectly.
Then notice the pattern in how you were acting. Were you forcing, or were you flowing?
Were you gripping a fixed plan, stressed and anxious or were you playful and open?
I think you’ll find that in the lucky, serendipitous moments, you took a chance. You followed your heart, didn’t overthink it, and just went for it…and things worked out.
Sometimes you participated more, sometimes less. But you participated intelligently. You let the sync of the universe work through you.
The reminder
If you’re forcing your way through life, you’re misaligned. I was too, and still am at times.
So remind yourself, over and over: if life feels like a chore, what you’re doing won’t work, at least not for the reasons you’re doing it for.
The great news: when you follow your heart and lead with joy, that is how you get the outcomes you want too.
Follow the pull, the curiosity, the intuition. Then watch the miracles show up.
Joy is the path, not the reward!
Curious about experimenting with this in your own life? Comment below so I can share the life experiments I've been running!